Day 4: I am thankful for a life that is not my own.
There is a moment I keep going back to.
When it happened, it both excited and scared me at the same time.
One of my best friends, Kaitlyn, had asked me to photograph her wedding.
As many young photographers, when I started my business my intention was not to be a wedding photographer. I did not have a ton of direction, but I knew that wasn't the one I was headed in.
I photographed a few weddings with very short engagements, but mostly turned down the requests.
I took on the role of matron of honor and photographer, simply because I couldn't bear to not be either one.
I had taken her and her husband away from the wedding guests to take some portraits. After a few directed shots, I just said, "okay, now just BE married.”
While watching them look into each others eyes with such wonder and joy,
and then it happened,
I thought to myself,
“Wow. I want to do this.”
The thought that immediately followed was, “Who said that?!”
It was my heart.
It was my “true love snapshot” with wedding photography.
Let me explain.
You know how somethings that you read or hear just stick with you?
Well I was in high school. The book was The Five People You Meet in Heaven. And it was this:
“Every life has one true-love snapshot. For Eddie, it came on a warm September night after a thunderstorm, when the boardwalk was spongy with water.
She wore a yellow cotton dress, with a pink barrette in her hair. Eddie didn't say much. He was so nervous he felt as if his tongue were glued to his teeth. They danced to the music of a big band, Long Legs Delaney and his Everglades Orchestra. He bought her a lemon fizz. She said she had to go before her parents got angry.
But as she walked away, she turned and waved.
That was the snapshot. For the rest of his life, whenever he thought of Marguerite, Eddie would see that moment, her waving over her shoulder, her dark hair falling over one eye, and he would feel the same arterial burst of love.”
Mitch Albom, The Five People You Meet in Heaven
I become obsessed with the idea of a true love snap shot.
For the past 8 years or so this idea has floated around in my brain and at times has floated to the surface, both consciously and unconsciously.
Can I tell you that I even tried to create these moments? Countless times, I walked away from boyfriends and looked over my shoulder, throwing my hair back romantically- ready to be “snap shoted."
A lot of the times they weren't looking.
I have never told anyone.
I asked my husband if he had one, well I asked in so many words.
I never told him.
He doesn't know, well until now, once he reads these words.
And only now will he know just what it meant to me when he recalled his moment.
I was wearing stripes.
If Mr. Albom can make up the idea of a true love snap shot, then I can certainly make up my own rules.
See, I don't think we have just one.
I think we can have them with our true love, with moments, our best friends.
Those moments that make your heart ignite with something- something so powerful you can feel the crackle and burn of passion and love.
Now don't get me wrong, these are not ordinary moments. They are moments that even after years, you can still feel their warmth, you can see the gentle amber glow.
These are life defining moments.
You see, when I say that I am not going to begin photographing weddings, what I really mean is I am officially starting my search to capture true love snapshots
- I have seen for myself, wedding days are full of em'.
I am now booking weddings in Louisiana and beyond.
I will follow love around the globe.
So this Thanksgiving season, there is a gratitude in my heart beyond measure for the direction and guidance of my Jesus. That my life, my talents, my vision, my dreams, are in fact, not my own.
For the passion that He placed in my heart 8 years ago and has been cultivating all the way.
You see, I did not simply come about this decision by following this feeling, but by seeking the heart of God and asking, "Is this of You? Is this where you are leading me? I want your will as my own."
After much prayer, I have discovered that right now, His will looks like wedding photography. That this is just another piece of the puzzle of this adventure of pursuing Jesus.
I am so thankful that when it feels like the stakes are high, I can really just rest in knowing that if I am following Jesus I truly have nothing to loose.
Man, life sure is good.
My Jesus, sure is good.
So take a gander at these gorgeous people I got to photograph.
Kaitlyn and Jake
Shelby & Logan
Thank you all for reading. I can't wait to share where this adventure takes me next!
I love you all very much.